Saturday Night Sex Tip: Breath & Touch Connection

Try this tonight with your partner. It feels good and will deepen your connection – assuming you already like and respect each other.  Its awesome on its own – but it will also make any other kinds of sex afterwards more pleasurable and enjoyable. It helps partners relax with each other, reducing self-consciousness and feeling of awkwardness.

Note: Before you begin, find out if there are any places your partner prefers not be touched. These places are off-limit.  Genitals and breasts are also off-limits for this activity (what you do after is up to you!). Both partners should try to be as quiet as possible, so you do not take away from your awareness of physical sensations.

1. Have your partner find a comfortable position – a place and position that will comfortable for them for around 15 minutes.
2. Guide your partner through a deep breathing exercise.  This will help both of you get centered and relaxed.
   • Ask your partner to breath in, deeply, to your count of 5 and breathe out to your count of 7.  Say “You are going to inhale as I count to 5. Fill your belly and chest with air completely. Then you are going to slowly exhale as I count to 7.  When I get to 7 you are going to push every last bit of air out of your body.  We are going to do that 5 times.”
   • Use a slow count – do not rush it. If you want, in your mind, insert the word “sexy” between the numbers to slow the count down. Say the number out loud, the word “sexy” to yourself, and then the next number  (“1 sexy, 2 sexy, 3 sexy, 4 sexy, 5 sexy).
3. Touch and stroke your lover’s naked body for 10 minutes – avoiding genitals or breasts and any place your partner has said is off-limits (accept that without questioning).   Bring your full attention to what you are feeling, to your sense of touch.  Notice smooth and rough, warmth, countours.  Touch your partner’s body all over in a way that feels good to you – and notice what kinds of touch you enjoy the most.
4. Now allow your partner to do the same for you.  Notice how the deep breathing makes your feel.  Fully focus on the sensations of being touched by your partner and your reactions to it.